I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
