i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
barbara walters just said penis...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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