If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
