Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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