You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
