he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
