naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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