Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I think I just got seasick

(409): View more from Texas

you're not on a boat

(408): View more from California

he has a waterbed.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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(661): View more from California

We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

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(301): View more from Maryland

people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back

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(309): View more from Illinois

Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".

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(516): View more from New York

Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...

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(425): View more from Washington

Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.

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(518): View more from New York

It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now

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