Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
