how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
