Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
