I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
