Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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