So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
