So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
