after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
