My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize