you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
