im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
