I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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