Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
