M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
