just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
