halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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