fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think my vagina is haunted
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
