she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize