Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
