for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
