i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize