Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
