i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
