This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
