haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
