1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
