she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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