I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
