I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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