you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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