I'm eating all of the evidence.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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