from now on my penis is your penis
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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