After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
