belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize