Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can tuck mytits in my pants
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
