Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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