Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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