I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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