Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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