help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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