OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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