we have pet lesbian snakes
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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