no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
whose parrot is this?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
