My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
