did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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