I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
