Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
