This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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