lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
