Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How does one acquire holy water?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
