i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
