i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
