how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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