it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
