Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
