I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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