why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
